Yesterday was my three year wedding anniversary.
Every time I repeat that sentence I can’t help but grin. I’ve been married for three years. I never even thought I would get married, and now look! It’s been three years and it feels like it happened just yesterday. It still amazes me how God brought us together, and how he continually blesses our lives. Last year we were in a new home, and this year we have a child; it is astounding how much my life has changed!
The night before my wedding I wanted to stop time. Things were changing, moving too fast, and I am not a fan of change. At home, I called a family meeting to discuss this and that for the following day. As I stood in my parent’s study with them and my sister (her husband was kind enough to give us time alone) I kept trying to think of things to say. Issues to resolve. Problems to fix. Anything that would keep us in that room together for just a little bit longer. Anything to have it just be the four of us again.
Eventually, I ran out of things to say, someone had to go to the bathroom, and my moment was gone. I reluctantly headed off to bed knowing tomorrow was going to change everything.
My mother came into my room to say goodnight, and I looked up at her from the only bed that had ever been mine. She had slept in this bed as a girl, a teen, a young woman, and she’d given it to me. It was my last night in that house in that bed.
“Everything is changing,” I whispered, trying not to sob. I had quit my job a month ago because after the wedding we were moving. He’d found a job too good to pass up, and while it was a great opportunity, it also meant being a newlywed in a town where I knew no one. No job, no friends, no family. Tomorrow I was marrying the love of my life and I was terrified.
“You don’t have to marry him, you know,” Mama said softly, brushing my hair off my forehead. “But baby, you love him, don’t you? He’s such a good man.”
I lost my battle with my tears, and recalled how another friend spent the night before her wedding crying into her mother’s lap. Now, I understood why.
Of course I loved him. Of course I wanted to marry him. Marrying him meant moving out and away, it meant leaving and cleaving, it meant my childhood was ending and I was taking one more step into adulthood. Ultimately, it meant stepping out in faith and trusting God.
You should know: I glowed on my wedding day. I relished every step down the aisle, every moment on the church stage, and the moment after our first kiss as husband and wife; the day was perfect. Now, I look back at the night before my wedding and smile, because that night while I was grieving a life-change I know God was smiling, knowing all that was ahead.
It’s been a blessed three years, even when things have not always turned out as I anticipated. They have been so much better.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. – Proverbs 3: 5-6